It is said that Commander Yang Zichen was originally a regular town guard from a poverty-stricken area, so he had to use his connections to ask the governor of Liangjiang for help in transferring him to Nanjing to manage the defense camp. This was obviously a cushy gig, set up for him from above. After taking office, he found that the place was peaceful, and most of the soldiers were not working despite receiving their pay. The previous leader was short of about 20% of the troops, and after he took over, he cut off another 20-30% under the pretext of eliminating the old and weak. However, once the cut personnel left, none were replaced.
Three years later, the governor was going to inspect the army. Some camps were temporarily filled to make up the numbers, and some employed a rotating roster trick. What is this trick? For example, in a camp of 500 people, only 300 received their pay, but in reality, there were only 200 soldiers present. During the inspection, after the first row finished calling names, they quickly stepped back to change clothes and weapons, then followed the people behind to call names again. This way, even if there were many missing soldiers, they could still pull the wool over the governor's eyes. Furthermore, the old governor was more concerned with Daoism and longevity than inspecting troops, so most of the inspection work was left to the camp office officials—all friends of Commander Yang's. They were all buddies, constantly wining and dining together. There was no need for Commander Yang to greet them for the inspection; everyone knew what to do, and they could easily fool the governor. The commander acted in this way, and the camp officers below naturally followed suit. Trading camp officer positions was a lucrative business for Commander Yang. As long as there were vacancies, bribes flowed freely, channeled through his mistress, his cronies, and even the prostitutes at his favorite tavern. In short, Commander Yang's work was all about money, and anyone who greased his palm got rich.
Let's not talk about this for now. Commander Yang oversaw several camps: the main and deputy guard camps, the new recruits, and the regular and reserve forces. Each camp had its complement of officers, from high-ranking governors and town guards down to the lowest-ranking non-commissioned officers.
At that time, there was a gunboat officer in Jiangyin who claimed to be a deputy general, or so he claimed (though others doubted it). He'd been a gunboat officer in Jiangyin for two years and three months. He got canned for embezzling funds and hightailed it to Nanjing to find work. This man's surname was Mao, and his given name was Guan. He'd been a servant in Taixing County, Jiangbei, and later saved a few bucks. One day, after making a mistake and getting chewed out by his master, he went to the smokehouse to smoke heavily. Lucky break—the Jiangnan army was being demobilized, and those who had previously fought for the "Taiping Heavenly Kingdom" were all being laid off with no work to do. Generals, garrison commanders, and the like were broke, hawking their commendations and orders on the street. At that time, a hundred bucks or so bought you a first- or second-rank title—a steal!
One day, Mao Guan came to the smokehouse. The shopkeeper recognized him and quickly offered him a seat, inviting him to sit down. Mao Guan was down in the dumps and lay down. The shopkeeper lit him up. After smoking a few puffs, a big lug showed up. He was dark, gaunt, but he had a mean look about him. Mao Guan ignored him, but the shopkeeper looked displeased and tried to shoo him away. The man sighed and said, "Hey, cut it out! I ain't nobody's fool! Do you know who I am? Without us, where would Jiangnan have its good days? It's just my bad luck that I ended up like this. Forget you, even the Taixing County magistrate ain't in my league!" Seeing him act so arrogantly, the shopkeeper raised his eyebrows and was about to blow a gasket and call for help. Unexpectedly, the man laughed heartily, and instead of being pushed away, he tripped the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper got angry and was about to call for help. The man sneered, "I'm starving and look like hell. Take me to your boss. If he'll put me up and feed me, I'll be forever in your debt!" The shopkeeper became even angrier.
The yamen officials heard him loud and clear, and their jaws nearly dropped, thinking to themselves, "This guy must have some serious connections!" Looking at him, it was clear he wasn't an ordinary fellow, so he told the guard, "Don't say too much to him; just wait for me to ask." With that, he tossed aside his opium pipe, sat up straight, and slowly asked, "What's your name? Your accent doesn't sound local—how did you end up here?" The big man noticed the official was being reasonable, changed his expression, sighed, and replied, "It's a bit of a tale!" The official gestured to a chair beside the opium bed and told the big man to sit down. Unexpectedly, there was someone else behind him. When the official asked who it was, the big man said it was his nephew, but the official barely registered it.
After the big man sat down, he introduced himself, saying, "I am from Hunan. I used to fight in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, charging into battle and capturing cities. Later, I was rewarded for my achievements and rose to the rank of reserve guerrilla officer. Although I was promoted, after the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom was pacified, few men managed to secure positions as guerrillas or commanders! I didn't have any pull, and no one to help me. So, ending up homeless wasn't surprising, was it? When I was a soldier, I also handled a lot of money, but I was young and reckless, burning through money and not taking it seriously at all. After retiring, I still had some money left. Some squandered it, some went into business partnerships, but they all failed. As for myself, the problem lies here! All I've got left are these two rags and a few bits of paper—awards and orders from back then. Useless things. I'm stone broke! Unfortunately, no one wants them. If someone did, I would sell them for a few dollars." The official felt sorry for him and asked, "Do you have these things with you?" The big man said, "I've got nothing else, so I carry them with me." The official said, "Take them out and let me see." The big man was about to take off his clothes to get them when the duty officer came over, saying, "Hey, boss, don't fall for it! This guy's a con artist." The big man saw the guard spoiling his chances and lunged at him, but the official stepped in.
This fella'd been in the yamen, knew the certificates and orders were real. Then, he got this crazy idea of becoming an official, so he asked this dude how much money he wanted. The dude refused to say at first, but after a lot of haggling, he finally said he wanted one hundred and fifty yuan. Unable to resist the impostor's repeated delays, he finally lowered it to thirty yuan. Three yuan was paid as a deposit that day, and a certificate was obtained. The rest was agreed to be delivered to the smokehouse at two o'clock the next day. The dude took the money and left happily. The guy on duty tried to shake him down again, but the dude refused. The two of them argued again; fortunately, the impostor yelled a couple of times, and that was that. The dude left, and the impostor returned to the yamen. The next day, he showed up at the smokehouse with the rest of the cash, grabbed the papers, and checked them out under the lamp at home. He found that the name on the order was "Mao Changsheng"; although the name was different, the surname was the same. The next day, he asked his boss for time off, found a new angle, and decided to go see the governor. At that time, the governor was stationed in Jiangyin. Once he had a contact, he was in. Within two months, he was running a gunboat. And that's how he became a real 'impostor'. He captained that gunboat for over three years, and with so few guys around, nobody ever caught on.
One day, the admiral ordered a drill. Many warships were practicing, and the officers were all standing at the bow commanding the soldiers. Unexpectedly, this unfortunate officer slipped and fell into the water in the cabin! The soldiers panicked, but luckily two good swimmers stripped down and jumped in to rescue him. The admiral watched from the flagship and sent a guard to row a small boat over to inquire about the situation and ask if he was still breathing. By this time, the soldiers had already rescued him, propped him up with three benches facing down to help him spit out the water. After spitting out most of the water, his stomach deflated, and they carried him to the cabin to rest. After drinking two bowls of ginger soup, he slowly woke up. The guard went back to report to the admiral, who said, "Whew! I can finally rest assured. His position was recommended by someone. If he had died, how could I face my friend?" The next day, the officer took three days off and only went to thank the admiral on the fourth day, saying, "I really appreciate what you did. I slipped and fell accidentally, causing you trouble, and I am truly grateful! I have an 80-year-old mother and young children to support. When I fell, I knew it was over, and I thought to myself, 'I'm a goner!' Thanks to your blessing, I am still alive and able to serve you. So I vow to worship the Dragon King for three days and pray for those who drowned. Rest assured, such a thing will not happen again in the future." The admiral said, "I was sweating for you when you fell. If you had drowned, although it was fate, it would have been a sacrifice for the country. I have already planned to write to the governor and report to the superiors, requesting compensation, so your son will not have to worry in the future. Now that you are fine, there is no need to say these things." The officer knelt down again, thanking the admiral for his kindness. "How deep was the water, anyway? It can't have been that deep, or you'd be six feet under," the senior officer asked.
Mao Deguan replied, "Sir, both the naval and land camps now use foreign methods, with the most emphasis on measurement. Although I'm not precise, I could make a pretty good guess. Where I fell, the water was probably just over five feet deep. I figured it was only about five feet deep because I often hear the elderly say that those who commit suicide by jumping into the river are standing in the water. That day, I swallowed a lot of water, which means it definitely didn't go over my head. The next day, I looked at my boots, which were all muddy, showing they had touched the ground. I was wearing a robe that was three feet and eight inches long, plus my head and hat, and boots, so the water was probably just over five feet deep."
The superior said, "Maybe it was six or seven feet deep? How did you measure so clearly in the water?"
Mao Deguan stepped forward and said, "Sir, my men wouldn't dare to go down to save me in five feet of water; if it were deeper, they wouldn't jump. This is my personal experience, absolutely not lying. If you don't believe me, you can send someone to check and see if my measurement is accurate."
The superior said, "Since you have measured it, there’s no need to check again." Then Mao Deguan left.
Two months later, they were transferred elsewhere to capture salt smugglers. One night, everyone on the boat was asleep, and the salt smugglers snuck onto the boat, stealing all the tents and weapons on board. Mao Deguan woke up from his sleep, put on his pants, and came out to check. A salt smuggler pointed an empty gun at his face, scaring him to his knees, screaming, "Spare me!" After the salt smuggler ran away, Mao Deguan went to the county yamen to report the incident, saying that the local cops weren't doing their job; he also made up a story, claiming that he had been robbed by bandits of many things and demanded compensation from the magistrate. The magistrate said, "The world's at peace, where are these bandits coming from? I've kept things tight since I took over – not even a petty thief, let alone bandits!" Mao Deguan wouldn't budge. The magistrate had no choice but to promise to help him investigate before he left.
Two days later, he came to demand payment again. Upon the official's arrival, the magistrate explained that they were salt bandits, not robbers. The official said, "Whether they are robbers or salt bandits, it's still a robbery that happened in your jurisdiction." The magistrate bristled and said, "Hold on a minute! Robbers are robbers, salt bandits are salt bandits. Robbery is the responsibility of local officials; as for the salt bandits, they must be retaliating against you. If it's not retaliation, why didn't they rob the residents on land, but instead targeted your gunboats in the river? And your gunboats have soldiers and weapons; as a capable captain, why didn't you resist and got robbed? That's preposterous! I don't buy it!" The official said, "If it was daytime, I would definitely fight them. But everyone was asleep in the middle of the night, so they succeeded." The magistrate said, "They only acted when you were asleep; clearly, this is theft. How can you call it robbery? Theft in the area is also my responsibility. Officer!" The attendants responded. The magistrate said, "Find the thieves within three days, or the arresting officer gets his legs broken!" The attendants took the order and left. The official was speechless and left.
Two days later, the official was still persistent and came to urge the magistrate again. The magistrate, furious, appealed to higher authorities. Fortunately, a new governor, an acquaintance of the magistrate's, had just arrived and wrote a letter to him according to the magistrate's words. The governor, wanting to set an example, said, "He was robbed himself and now claims it was a robbery, demanding compensation from the magistrate. That's outrageous! Even if it was a robbery, if he was sent to catch the robbers and got robbed himself, what good is he?" With just a few words, the official was dismissed from his position and replaced by someone else. Disgraced, he fled Jiangyin for Nanjing.
He made a lot of money on the warship. When he arrived in Nanjing, he started looking for work everywhere. Someone gave him advice: "Right now, it's prestigious to be under Commander Yang Zichen. He has a lot of soldiers under him. If you flatter him, you can easily become a company commander. But honestly, it's better to work through his wife than to deal with the commander. The commander has a lot on his plate and might forget about you; if you go through his wife, she’ll be around every day to help you out, getting things done faster and better—way better than dealing with the commander!"
The official asked, "How can we even meet his wife to flatter her?" The person replied, "You’re really clueless! This kind of thing takes time. First, you need to get friendly with the gatekeepers, like Gosh and the officials at the gate. Once you have them on your side, when opportunities come up, like his wife's birthday or if she wants something special, if you’ve already flattered the gatekeepers, they’ll let you know so you can take care of it. For the first few times, don’t take the credit; just say you did it for the gatekeepers. Once they benefit first, then you can ask them to help promote you later. People remember kindness, and when they benefit from you, they’ll definitely speak up for you. At that point, their word carries weight. As long as someone is speaking up for you in front of his wife, and his wife is speaking up for you in front of the commander, won’t that work? But you have to first win over the gatekeepers, not just the lower-level folks, but also the old women and maids in the upper rooms. Why? The gatekeepers don’t see the wife that often; they can't serve her every day. The old women and maids are always around her, never far away. She trusts what they say, so their words matter more than others." The official understood how things worked, thanked him repeatedly, and asked, "Isn't it important to meet the commander?" The person said, "Meeting the commander isn’t that important; it’s useless if you meet him without any business. As long as you go once and drop off a card, you can then frequently interact with the gatekeepers and act when the time is right." The official noted down these words.
He did as the man said, starting by currying favor with the gatekeepers, sending many gifts and visiting them every day to get on their good side. Over time, he found out which of the eight mistresses of Commander Sheep was the most favored. Whenever one of her ladies-in-waiting needed something, he'd jump in and help, even paying out of his own pocket. He was efficient, quick, and thrifty, so the people at the door had a good relationship with him. As their relationship grew closer, he dropped a hint about wanting a position. Everyone agreed and promised to speak well of him when the opportunity arose.
One day, the mistress wanted to decorate a room with stylish foreign wallpaper, but several officials were unable to find it. Someone informed the man who had been flattering her. He scoured the city for three days and nights to get it for her. The mistress loved it and had it put up right away. Unexpectedly, the official was a favorite of the mistress. She praised his efficiency and ability to get things done. The official wanted to speak well of the man who found the paper, so he said, "This paper was obtained by a certain Maoguyi who came to offer his services. He scoured the city for three days and nights to get it as a gift for the mistress." The mistress was surprised and asked what he did. The official replied, "He's a former gunboat commander from Jiangyin, a deputy commander rank. He's out of work and came here looking for a position, but he hasn't seen the Commander for months." The mistress said, "If he wants a job, why didn't he tell me? Go and tell him to come see the Commander tomorrow; he'll have a job the minute he sees him." The official passed on the message to the man who found the paper, who was naturally grateful. That evening, the mistress told the Commander what happened.
The next day, Maode Guan came calling again. General Yang immediately received him, made him feel welcome, and promised to find him a job. After Maode Guan left, three days passed without any action. The official went to see the mistress again. The mistress wanted to show off her skills, so she called General Yang, threw a fit, and had him by the beard, refusing to let go until he promised to arrange a good position for Maode Guan right then and there. General Yang agreed that it couldn't wait for three days, and it had to be done that same day before she would let go. While combing his beard, she yanked out a few of his beard hairs. Because the mistress had always been spoiled, General Yang was afraid of her and didn't dare to speak up, so he immediately arranged the task. Helpless, he had to dismiss a supervisor of the Right Camp for "dereliction of duty" and let Maode Guan take over. After he'd written the appointment letter and stamped it, General Yang showed it to the mistress before handing it to the person at the door. Maode Guan was already waiting outside, so he immediately came forward to thank General Yang. General Yang casually said a few polite words, nothing more than "follow orders and keep the men in shape." Maode Guan repeatedly promised. Then he sent someone to thank the mistress, but she did not see him. The next day, he sent many gifts and tipped everyone in General Yang's house before taking office.
On the first day of his appointment, he had to take attendance. Suddenly, a sentry with a fancy hat came forward to report his name. Maode Guan felt familiar with him, and the sentry also looked at Maode Guan. They recognized each other instantly. Maode Guan couldn't remember who he was for a moment, so he skipped over him. Unexpectedly, the sentry remembered him, and after the matter was over, he came alone with his business card to see Maode Guan. Maode Guan looked at the business card and knew he was from the same camp, thinking, "Today is my first day at work, what's he after?" He blew him off at first, but the sentry insisted, so he let him in.
The corporal entered the barracks and saluted the camp officer first. The camp officer, who had just taken office, was pretty easygoing and asked him what was up. Soldiers tend to speak rudely, regardless of who is around, and he directly said, "Sir, have you forgotten me? Is your position the one my uncle sold to you at a certain tobacco shop in a certain year and month for thirty silver coins? That job's worth a king's ransom! I am his nephew. That day at the tobacco shop, you even asked me what my name was, and my uncle said it was Zhu Degui, his nephew. Have you forgotten, sir?" The camp officer, upon hearing him rat out his background in front of so many people, was furious; his face darkened as he said, "Get outta here! Bullshit! My position was recommended by Zhang Gongbao, not sold by your uncle! Who are you? Who is your uncle? Don't mistake me for someone else! Cut the crap, you punk! If you keep talking nonsense, don't blame me for not recognizing you!" Zhu Degui retorted stubbornly, "I ain't forgettin' nothin'! There's a red mole behind your left ear, I remember it perfectly! If you don't believe me, check it out! I'm not asking for anything else from you now; my uncle passed away from illness last month. We have the coffin but nowhere to bury him. If you can, please give some money to buy a burial plot for him; it'll be right by the dead guy, and right by me too. In the future, while I serve here, if you can take care of me a little out of respect for my uncle, that'd be a real favor; my uncle underground will also be grateful to you." The camp officer was angry and resentful but had no way to deal with him, so he could only sneer repeatedly and say to the people around him, "Listen to this guy, he's just getting more ridiculous! The guy's probably nuts; quickly take him out to rest." The soldiers tried to pull him away, but Zhu Degui got even angrier, "What, am I crazy? If you want to give, then give; if not, then don't. God's my witness, I'm telling the truth! If you say your position wasn't sold by my uncle, I'll believe it even if you chop off my head!" The camp officer was so furious that he shouted, "Get him out of here! He's totally bonkers! Tomorrow, I will definitely remove him from his post and replace him with someone else!" Zhu Degui did not back down either, cursing as he was dragged out by the crowd. The camp officer was still furious, thinking of immediately removing him from his post, but then thought that he would definitely not accept it, causing trouble and tarnishing his reputation. It would be better to endure for now, wait for him to make a mistake, and then deal with him so that he could never turn things around. So the camp officer played it cool.
When in Jiangyin, the commander had two wives, living separately. One was his first wife, who had a son and a daughter; the daughter was seventeen and the son was eleven. The other was his second wife; how they met specifically is unknown, but the commander hit it off with her. When the commander came to Nanjing for business, he only brought his second wife, while his first wife and children remained in Jiangyin. Thanks to the Yang leader's missus, the commander finally landed a job and didn't forget about his first wife, sending a soldier with money to bring them over. It was convenient to travel by boat, and they arrived in three or four days. They also rented a house, conveniently located opposite the Yang leader's back door, making it easy to visit first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Anyway, the rule in the camp was that on the first and fifteenth of each month, the commander would gather the officers, big and small, to sit and chat, then disperse, calling it their monthly pow-wow. In the past, they would discuss military strategies, like something out of a play. Later on, there were few officers in the camp who understood military strategies, so it was just a formality.
On this first day of the month, the commander gathered the officers and had just said, "The weather is really nice today," when before anyone could respond, Zhu Degui suddenly stood up, respectfully calling the commander "maternal uncle," and said, "Greetings, Uncle." The commander didn't expect this to happen and was so angry that his face was a mask of fury, going from red to white, looking very ugly. Zhu Degui then brought out a man wearing a blue hat, pointing and saying, "This is Uncle's blood brother; Uncle is the eldest brother, he is the younger brother, so you guys have a chat." Everyone could see that the younger brother's hair was white while the eldest brother was only in his thirties; clearly, something was not right, but out of respect for the commander, nobody dared say anything to the boss's face.
The camp officer finally lost it. Never mind all the people around him, he rushed up to grab Zhu Degui and went at it. Zhu Degui didn't back down either, and the two of them started wrestling. The camp officer cursed, "You little punk! No respect for your betters! I'll kill you!" He called out, "Get me a stick!" Zhu Degui shot back, "You dirty dog! You're abusing your power and hitting me! I ain't scared of you! Got the balls? Let's go see the commander!" The camp officer said, "Let's go!" They dragged each other all the way to the commander's place – over three miles! A whole mob of them marched to the commander's place.
Early that morning, the camp commander, Yang, had just returned from Fishing Lane and was sleeping at home when he heard the commotion outside in a daze. He thought it was a mutiny over pay, and nearly jumped out of his skin, sending someone to check it out. When the officer reported back that it was just an argument, everyone tried to break it up but forgot to tell the commander. Only after the fight broke up did someone tell the commander what happened.
Commander Yang heard this and immediately became furious, cursing the two good-for-nothing officers: "You're good-for-nothing! The camp officer doesn't act like a camp officer! The patrol officer doesn't act like a patrol officer!" He also scolded that imposter: "I knew something was off about him when he arrived! Turns out this guy's a fraud! We need to get to the bottom of this!" Just as he was speaking, the imposter's concubine spoke up, saying, "There are plenty of fakes in this world, but a fake official? That's a new one! He used to work elsewhere; why didn't anyone report him? Zhu Degui's clearly shaking him down! Let 'em work it out. No need to make a big deal out of it, and you stay out of it, Commander." After thinking it over, Commander Yang realized the concubine's words made sense and decided not to intervene for now. Outside, the imposter and Zhu Degui were persuaded by everyone to return to their camps, and everything settled down.
Unexpectedly, this incident reached the ears of the authorities. The next day, the authorities summoned Commander Yang for questioning. Remembering the concubine's advice, he claimed there was no issue. However, the authorities insisted that there was an incident and required him to investigate. With no other choice, Commander Yang agreed. He first reprimanded the imposter and demanded that he hand over all his past commendations, awards, and appointment letters. The imposter dared not hide anything and surrendered everything. When they checked, it turned out his age didn't match his supposed accomplishments. Based on his achievements, he should have been over sixty, but he appeared to be under forty! Commander Yang chuckled, understanding the situation, and simply remarked, "Well, ain't you a busy bee! Still going strong, racking up all those medals for the Emperor. Impressive!" He then served tea and sent the official on his way. The phony felt the heat, blushed, mumbled something, and hightailed it home, a nervous wreck for the rest of the day.
The saying goes: "Too many cooks spoil the broth." After Old Mao married that second wife, they often quarreled at home. He always had it in for them. The main wife knew that Old Mao was messing around with this woman, and she was not happy about it. They’d had more than one blow-up, and their conflict deepened over time.
Since working under Yang Tongling, Old Mao always talked about "Tongling" when he came home. He praised all the good things about working for Tongling endlessly, even mentioning things like Tongling having women on the side as if it were nothing. She heard him, alright, and she was just waiting for her chance.
On this day, Maodeguan came home in a bad mood after running into trouble with the big man, cursing as soon as he opened his mouth. He was restless all day, unable to eat, pacing back and forth in the room alone, letting out a string of sighs, as if he had something on his mind. His second wife asked him, but he didn't say anything, leaving her puzzled. Later, she asked someone who followed him and discovered his problem with Zhudegui. The second wife frowned and came up with a plan. After entering the room, she first said some comforting words to cheer him up, then slowly said, "Today's matter, although it was the big man's intention, the real purpose is to target us. The key to this matter still lies in his hands; we need to find a way to resolve it." Maodeguan said, "I also think so, but we just arrived. How can we afford to brown-nose him?" The second wife sneered, "All you know is throwing money at the problem!" Maodeguan hurriedly said, "Besides money, do you have any other ideas?" The second wife replied, "There is a way, but I'm afraid you can't do it. It'll only get you in more trouble, and I'll make an enemy." Maodeguan said, "I have no idea now. If you have an idea, just say it, let's discuss it together. If it works out, we will both benefit." The second wife said, "Don't worry, I'll tell you. Didn't you say the boss is a lech?" Maodeguan said, "Yes, he is a lech. You're not going to sleep with him for me, are you?" The second wife pouted and said, "I'm not that kind of woman! A woman can't have multiple husbands!" Maodeguan said, "Even if you are so high-minded, you only married me! Stop talking about useless things now; let's talk about the main issue." The second wife said with a serious face, "It's not like that. As long as it benefits you, I'll do it, even if it's the death of me. I heard that Zhou Zongye from the rear camp got promoted because he honored the boss's wife. It's not a big deal. If others can do it, I can too. But I'm forty. Maybe he prefers younger women."
The Magistrate said, "Where can we find this person?" The second wife/stepmother said, "She's right here; it's just a matter of whether you're willing to do it." The Magistrate said, "The more you talk, the more confused I get. Who is it after all?" The second wife/stepmother pretended to think again, "It all depends on you. You're the head of the household; if you say yes, who's going to argue?" The Magistrate said, "Spit it out! You're killing me!" The second wife/stepmother hesitated again and said, "It's not just my problem; it affects everyone. I'm saying this for the good of the family, not for myself." The Magistrate pressed, "Who is it after all?" The second wife/stepmother finally said, "Don't ask me; talk to your daughter."
The Magistrate couldn't say a word after hearing this. His second father-in-law said, "Boys grow up and marry; girls grow up and marry. If you raise a daughter, you have to let her get married eventually. Once she's married, she's part of another family. You can't keep her at home like a son. Since she will eventually get married, whether as a main wife or a concubine, it's all the same. Better to be a concubine to a rich man than the main wife of a poor one. A rich man can support her, and your family will benefit too. In life, you have to be practical. How many people have been harmed by empty titles? I've seen plenty!" The Magistrate shook his head, "I'm a third-rank official – that's not exactly low-level, and we're not exactly poor. How can I give my daughter away to be someone's concubine? My wife and daughter will never agree, and neither do I!" When the second father-in-law saw he was not agreeing, he coldly laughed and said, "I knew talking to you would be pointless! We're all broke, not just me. So, from now on, we're done. Don't bother me, and I won't bother you." And with that, he stormed off to bed.
Maodeguan didn't say a word, spending the night racking his brains but couldn't think of a thing. Slowly, he recalled Erhun Tou's suggestion about the second marriage and felt it made sense; he couldn't think of any other way. So he woke up Erhun Tou again, praised his idea as good, and discussed how to implement it. Erhun Tou was eager for revenge, and when he saw that Maodeguan accepted his idea, he happily agreed, leaned in close, and whispered a cunning plan in his ear. Maodeguan nodded repeatedly and said, "Right, right!"
Early the next morning, without even washing up or having breakfast, he dashed into his wife's room and blurted out, "Where is the opium box?" His wife assumed he'd been to pay his respects and was now craving a smoke. She replied, "It's in the drawer." Their daughter was sleeping behind the bed. The wife quickly called her daughter to get up, "Get your father his opium, quick!" Just as the daughter was getting out of bed, he found the opium box in the drawer, opened the lid, smeared a bit of opium on his lips, then threw the box to the ground and fell with a thud, shouting, "I don't want to smoke! I want to die! If I die, you will have a better life!" Then he just lay there. His wife and daughter were terrified. Sure enough, he was sprawled on the floor, playing dead.
Lately, Mr. Mao has been extorted by Zhu Degui and reprimanded in person by the leader. His wife, Mrs. Mao, and their daughter also heard some of it and thought that his fake official position had been exposed, so he was too ashamed to show his face and committed suicide. However, in this world, how could anyone watch their husband or father commit suicide without trying to save him? So Mrs. Mao and her daughter panicked, cried out, and caused a commotion in the entire courtyard. They sent someone to the pharmacy to get medicine while also considering trying to make him swallow dung, saying, "After swallowing the opium, just vomit it out." Mr. Mao flatly refused, spitting the vile stuff away. Mrs. Mao and her daughter tried to force his mouth open to feed him the dung. Mr. Mao became anxious, waved his hand for the family to leave, and scrambled to a sitting position on the floor. Mrs. Mao and her daughter had no choice but to sit with him on the floor. He didn't speak, sighed first, paused for a while, and said, "I'm a dead man! But the opium smoke hasn't taken effect yet. Before I kick the bucket, I need to tell you why I'm doing this." Mrs. Mao and her daughter urged him, saying, "Hurry up and speak!" Mr. Mao pointed at his daughter and said, "It's all because of her!" Mrs. Mao asked, "How is it because of her?" Mr. Mao said, "I get angry when I talk about this! We're not exactly poor, but that leader has taken a liking to her and wants her!" Mrs. Mao said, "Doesn't the leader already have a wife and concubine? Why does he want our daughter?" Mr. Mao said, "Bah! He wants her to be his concubine! Think about it, where should I put my face? So I want to seek death! It's also because our daughter is not good. Our family's main entrance faces their back door, and she always likes to stand at the door. He'd be sneaking around our place, night and day, and I don't know if he saw her that day. Coincidentally, the day before yesterday, that bastard surnamed Zhu extorted me, and the leader used this as a reason to target me, not just demoting me or reporting me, but also investigating. Honey, you know how I got this job, I can't lie to you. If it's confirmed, I will lose my life. So after thinking about it, there is no other way, only this way, to end it all. If you want to save me, other than giving our daughter to the leader as a concubine, there is no other way. Do you think I will agree?" Mrs. Mao and her daughter stared at each other, speechless.
The magistrate suddenly perked up and said to his wife and daughter with a stubborn neck, "Are you trying to drive me to suicide, or are you waiting for the cops to haul me in? It'll be either the chop or exile – it's a toss-up! So that's it, then. We're finished!" After speaking, he feigned wiping his eyes but sneaked a look at his daughter. When his wife heard this, she couldn't say anything else, only worrying about whether her husband would seek death and if she could save him. If she didn't want her husband to die, she could only send her daughter away, but she couldn't bear to. She was beside herself and burst into tears. As for the daughter, she usually liked to stand at the door and had met the magistrate a few times. The magistrate was a coarse oaf, and she was actually quite unwilling. Now because of this matter, her father wanted to seek death, and she felt more and more unlucky, crying and thinking that besides crying, she couldn't say anything else. The magistrate looked at them crying, frantic, and shouted, "My life's in your hands! Do you want me dead or alive?!" The daughter cried and said, "It's all my fault, causing Dad to want to die! If Dad's going to die, I might as well join him!" Saying that, she picked up a cigarette case and was about to smoke. Her mother snatched the cigarette case and said, "We haven't even saved one of us yet, and you want to die too?!" The magistrate said, "Forget it! Let's all just die then! If even my own daughter can't save me, what's the point of living?" The daughter also said, "Forget it! Since you won't let me die, and you're making me be someone's concubine, as long as you can accept it, even if you want me to beg on the streets, I won't say no! If I don't agree, it'll be your death on my conscience. I'm used to hardship. Just hope you get rich and powerful!"
Old Man Mao agreed to his daughter's request, beaming inside. Pretending to be about to vomit, he retched a few times and brought up some phlegm. The young lady quickly tended to him, asking how he was. He nodded repeatedly and said, "It's okay, it's okay, I've vomited, I should be fine now." Then he quickly got out of bed and kowtowed to his daughter, saying, "I owe you my life! If we become prosperous in the future, we will never forget you!" The young lady quickly knelt down to help him up. Feeling very wronged, after a while, she squeezed out a sentence, "It's my fate, Papa. Don't blame yourself!" After a rest, Old Man Mao ate something and ordered his wife, "Get our daughter all dolled up; maybe someone will come soon." After that, he left.
After leaving, he thought to himself, "I've got this end sorted, but I still need to find someone to fix up the marriage on the other side. The path I took before was through Auntie's people; if he finds out, it will only cause enmity, and that won't work. Although Zhou, the General from the rear camp, can speak in front of the leader, his wife is also there. He owes his promotion to his wife; he wouldn't dream of sending my daughter there. If I directly ask the leader, I'd be humiliated and get nowhere." I racked my brains, but nothing seemed right. Later, he suddenly remembered that the leader had a young follower who always followed him with a long pipe when the leader went out at night, and the leader trusted him very much. It might be better to take his route.
The decision has been made. He went to find that little guy, gave him a few taels of silver, and explained the situation: "My daughter is a real beauty, seventeen this year, often standing at the door; the big boss must have seen her. I heard that the big boss is going to marry a mistress, and I'm happy to give him my daughter. But I can't go to talk to him myself; I need you to do me a favor. Just don't mention that she's my daughter, in case he refuses to come. Let's keep this between us; my whole future depends on him now. If he refuses, I'm screwed! Keep it from him for now; once it's done, he'll be stuck with her, and my situation will be easier to handle. As long as my official position remains unchanged, we'll see each other plenty." The little guy, after pocketing the silver, readily agreed and said, "You're a smooth operator! You'll be his father-in-law directly! We'll have to call you something nice in the future!" He blushed and said, "Gotta eat, right? Brother, please help me ask. I'll go home first to make arrangements and get him over here tonight." The little guy said, "Wait! I'll decide if I talk, and he'll decide if he comes. Wait for my message before taking action." The official said, "With you talking him up, what's to worry about?" After saying that, he left.
The assistant secretly said to the leader, "A mother and daughter have moved in across the back door. I heard they're a bit loose. The daughter is seventeen and really beautiful. I met her mother yesterday, and she said the daughter is old enough to get her a good match, even if it's just as a concubine, and they don't want a dowry. If the leader likes her, just give the word, and there's no need to rent another place. Just invite her over directly at night." He really hyped her up. The leader was a real hound, often coming in and out of the back door, and had seen the girl a few times. Although she wasn't as good as the assistant described, she was still pretty. Upon hearing this, he couldn't help but have his eyes on her and sat there without saying a word for a long time. The assistant understood his thoughts, knew he was interested, and said, "I'll go talk to the mother now, and the leader can go over tonight." After speaking, he went to inform the corrupt official. The official was very happy to hear this and said, "I've got everything set up at home, just waiting for the leader to visit tonight. I can't stay here, so I'll skedaddle for the night and come back tomorrow morning." The assistant said, "So, you'll be the father-in-law tomorrow morning, then?" The official blushed again and beat a hasty retreat. The assistant went back and told the leader about the situation, preparing to get down to business that night. What happens next? To be continued.
