Dear Sir: I take the liberty to inform you that I have committed an offense. Receiving your letter of consolation deeply moved and shamed me. However, I feel stifled and distressed, and I can't help but look up to the heavens and weep bitterly! I was honored to serve under you, commanding the troops, and all actions were in accordance with your directives; I didn’t dare to take any initiative. This is the duty of a subordinate, and it is also because I admire your loyalty to the country that I dared to exert all my efforts, risking public anger and disregarding everything to serve you.
In August of the Wuxu year, you took extraordinary actions and on July 29 ordered me to lead troops into the capital, which I complied with immediately. Regarding the Boxer Rebellion last year, I received your orders several times to pacify Li Laizhong and to attack the embassy. Because this matter was of great importance, I hesitated, but you urged me on, and I did not dare to disobey your orders. Later, I received your commands and direct instructions to besiege the embassy multiple times, even to the extent of opening fire.
At first, I was worried about offending various countries by killing their envoys and feared that I lacked sufficient military strength, bearing this significant guilt. You also instructed me to fight against foreign enemies with all my might, sharing both fortune and misfortune. I’m just a soldier, lacking in knowledge, relying solely on you, serving you like a dog. Now you’re still in a high position of power, while I’ve fallen into disgrace; although I am foolish, I truly do not understand why this is so. I can honestly say that I’ve served you to the best of my ability! You asked me to undertake very dangerous tasks, and I took the risks to do so; you wanted to pacify the Boxers, and I recommended Li Laizhong; you wanted to attack foreigners, and I fought desperately. Now, I am solely to blame! My subordinate soldiers have all disbanded, each feeling wronged, and some have even discussed your inconsistency. I am devoted to serving the country and willing to die. The soldiers are very resentful, and I cannot suppress them! I can only ask you to help me find a way out of this.
