As the saying goes, "Working hard in the fields is not as good as catching a good year, and being a good official is not as good as meeting a noble person." This is spot on. Not only do women charm their way to success, but men do the same in officialdom.
Throughout history, there are too many examples of people getting ahead through looks or brown-nosing. After the establishment of the Han Dynasty, even though the founder Liu Bang was a bit of a brute but powerful, there were people like Jixu who gained favor by flattery; during the reign of Emperor Xiaohui, there was Hongru. These two individuals had no real talent, but because they knew how to butter up the emperor, they received his favor, always at his side, and all the ministers in the court had to flatter them. Therefore, during the reign of Emperor Xiaohui, palace guards and attendants started aping their style, decking themselves out in blinging hats and fancy jade belts, caked in makeup, completely copying Jixu and Hongru. Later, these two individuals moved to Anling.
During the reign of Emperor Xiaowen, the emperor's favourites included Deng Tong (a civil official), and the eunuchs Zhao Tong (favoured for his supposed lucky star) and Beigong Bozi (who was simply good-looking). As for Deng Tong, he wasn't exactly gifted.
Deng Tong was a man from Nan'an in Shu Commandery. Initially, he was just a low-ranking official responsible for washing boats (Huangtou Lang). One day, Emperor Xiaowen dreamed of going to heaven but couldn't get there. Then, Huangtou Lang gave him a push from behind, and he whooshed upwards. When he woke up, he carefully recalled that Huangtou Lang's belt was worn backwards. So, he went to Jietai and searched for Huangtou Lang based on the clothing he saw in his dream. He found Deng Tong, whose belt was indeed worn backwards, just like in the dream. The emperor asked for his name and learned that his surname was Deng and his given name was Tong. The emperor was delighted and took a real shine to him. Deng Tong was very cautious and did not like to make friends. Even when the emperor rewarded him with a bath and a change of clothes, he refused to go out. Therefore, Emperor Wen rewarded him with huge wealth multiple times and promoted him to the rank of Shangdafu. Emperor Wen often visited Deng Tong's home. However, Deng Tong had no talent and could not help the emperor in any way. He was a skilled courtier, always careful to please. Later, the emperor had a fortune teller tell Deng Tong's fortune, and the fortune teller said he would die in poverty. Emperor Wen said, "The only one who can make Deng Tong wealthy is me! What's poverty got to do with anything?" Therefore, Emperor Wen granted Deng Tong the copper mines of Yandao County in Shu Commandery and allowed him to mint coins. Coins bearing Deng's name quickly spread throughout the country, and he became obscenely wealthy.
Emperor Wen of Han developed an abscess, and Deng Tong often helped him suck out the pus. Emperor Wen felt uneasy, so he indirectly asked Deng Tong, "Who in this world loves me the most?" Deng Tong replied, "Nobody loves you more than the Crown Prince." Later, when the Crown Prince visited Emperor Wen to check on his condition, Emperor Wen also let him suck out the pus. As the Crown Prince was doing so, his face turned ashen. Later, when he heard that Deng Tong often helped Emperor Wen, the Crown Prince felt ashamed and started to hate him from then on. After Emperor Wen's death, when Emperor Jing ascended the throne, Deng Tong was fired and retired. Not long after, someone accused Deng Tong of privately minting coins and smuggling them beyond the border. They found plenty of evidence, and Deng Tong's assets were confiscated, leaving him owing the state a fortune. Even the items bestowed by the Princess were taken by the authorities, and he was completely cleaned out. The Princess had to give him some food and clothes, and in the end, Deng Tong lived in poverty with others and eventually died penniless. During Jing's reign, only Zhou Wenren, a Gentleman of the Palace Attendant, was even slightly favored, but nowhere near as much as Deng Tong.
The current emperor has many favored courtiers by his side, including the scholar-official Han Wangsun Han Yan and the eunuch Li Yannian. Han Yan is the grandson of the Marquis of Bow and Arrow. When the emperor was the Prince of Jiaodong, he studied together with Han, and their relationship was very good. After the emperor became the Crown Prince, their bond grew even closer. Han was skilled in archery and adept at flattery. After ascending the throne and wishing to attack the Xiongnu, he studied their military tactics in advance, which made him even more favored, reaching the rank of High Minister and receiving rewards comparable to those of Deng Tong. At that time, Han and the emperor were practically inseparable. Once, when the Prince of Jiangdu came to the capital, the emperor allowed him to join the hunt in the Shanglin Garden. Before setting off, the emperor let Han ride in the second carriage with dozens or even hundreds of cavalry, galloping ahead to scout for prey. The Prince of Jiangdu saw them from afar and, thinking it was the emperor, quickly dismounted and knelt by the roadside to greet him. Han didn’t even notice him and simply passed by. Furious, the Prince of Jiangdu stormed to the Empress Dowager, complaining, "I might as well go back to my fief! I'm nothing compared to that Han Yan!" The Empress Dowager was very displeased with Han because of this. Han served the emperor and roamed freely through the palace, even Yongxiang. His scandalous affair was discovered by the Empress Dowager, who was enraged and ordered Han to be executed. The emperor pleaded for him, but to no avail, and Han met his end that way. His brother, Han Shuo, the Marquis of An Dao, was just as good at sucking up.
Li Yannian, from Zhongshan. His parents, himself, and his siblings used to be in the theater. Li Yannian was sent to a dog-watching post as punishment for committing a crime. Later, Princess Pingyang told the emperor that Li Yannian's sister danced exceptionally well, and the emperor was totally charmed when he saw her. Once the emperor was at Yongxiang, he called Li Yannian over. Li Yannian sang well and could compose new songs. At that time, the emperor was preparing for a grand sacrificial ceremony and wanted to create new music and poetry to perform. Li Yannian knew exactly what the emperor wanted and quickly wrote the music and lyrics. His sister was also favored and gave birth to a son. Li Yannian later held the rank of a 2000-stone official and was a constant presence at court, highly favored, with a status similar to Han Yan at the time.
Over time, Li Yannian hooked up with some palace insiders, strutting around the palace. After his sister passed away, the emperor's affections cooled, and Li Yannian and his brothers were eventually arrested and killed.
Since then, most of the favored concubines and powerful courtiers in the harem were the emperor's family, but there were not many such people. Wei Qing and Huo Qubing were also favored because they were royal relatives, but they earned the emperor's appreciation through their own abilities and merits.
Sima Qian said: Wow, you never knew what the emperor would do next! The story of Mizi Xia is enough to serve as a warning to those suck-ups in later generations. That's a lesson that still holds true!
