Dongfang Shuo, whose style name was Manqian, was from Yanzi, Pingyuan County. When Emperor Wu took the throne, he recruited bright, talented folks from all over the country and appointed them to high positions. At that time, many people sent in applications, some humble, some not so much, totaling several thousand, most of whom got the boot. When Dongfang Shuo had just arrived, he wrote a letter saying: "Orphaned young, I was raised by my brother and sister-in-law. I started learning calligraphy at thirteen and whipped through the classics in three winters. At fifteen, I learned swordsmanship, and at sixteen, I studied the Book of Songs and the Book of Documents, tackling 220,000 characters worth of reading. At nineteen, I studied Sun Tzu's Art of War and Wu Qi's Art of War, covering everything from signals to drumrolls, and I also read 220,000 characters. So, that's 440,000 characters I've devoured! I live by Zilu's teachings. I’m twenty-two years old this year, nine feet three—a giant! With eyes like shiny beads and a pearly white smile, I’m brave as a lion, quick as a fox, honest and upright. Someone like me should be your next top advisor! I'm throwing myself on your mercy, Your Majesty!"
Dongfang Shuo's petition was incredibly immodest and full of self-praise, but the emperor found him interesting and let him hang around the court. However, his salary was low, and he never got to see the emperor. Eventually, Dongfang Shuo tricked the stable hands, telling them that the emperor wanted to kill them. The grooms were absolutely terrified, wailing and weeping. Dongfang Shuo advised them to own up if the emperor came. When the emperor arrived and the grooms cried and kowtowed, he asked what was going on. They replied that Dongfang Shuo had said the emperor wanted to kill them. The Emperor, knowing Dongfang Shuo was a bit of a character, summoned him and asked why he scared the attendants. Dongfang Shuo replied, "Dead or alive, I'm speaking my mind! Those grooms, barely taller than a bread bin, get the same rations and pay as me. If what I've said is worth anything, give me a better deal; otherwise, give me the boot and stop me sponging off Chang'an!" The emperor roared with laughter and posted Dongfang Shuo to the Golden Horse Gate, bringing him closer to the imperial favour.
The emperor once had several people take turns guessing riddles, putting a gecko under a basin for them to guess, but none guessed correctly. Zhang Shuo volunteered and said, "I have studied the Book of Changes, let me try." So he used divination with yarrow sticks and answered, "I think it looks like a dragon without horns, calling it a snake but with legs; it slowly and gently climbs up walls. It's either a gecko or a lizard." The emperor said, "Brilliant!" and rewarded him with ten bolts of silk. The emperor then had him guess other things, and he guessed correctly each time, receiving silk rewards from the emperor each time.
At that time, there was a court jester called Guo who was good at telling jokes and always served by the emperor's side. He said, "Zhang Shuo is lucky to have guessed right; he doesn't really have any talent. I want Zhang Shuo to guess again. If he guesses right, I will take a hundred lashes; if he guesses wrong, I will accept the reward." So the emperor covered the parasitic plants on a tree and had Zhang Shuo guess. Zhang Shuo said, "That's a plant grown in a pot." Guo replied, "See? I told you he couldn't do it." Zhang Shuo said, "Fresh meat is made into slices, dried meat into jerky; growing on trees is called parasitic, growing in pots is called potted." The emperor ordered the jester to supervise and had Guo beaten, causing him to cry out in pain. Zhang Shuo laughed and said, "Look at you, all mouth and no hair, squawking away, and your backside's getting bigger by the minute!" Guo angrily said, "Zhang Shuo actually mocked me in front of the emperor; he should be put to death!" The emperor asked Zhang Shuo, "Why did you mock him?" Zhang Shuo replied, "I didn't intentionally mock him; I was just having a bit of fun with words." The emperor asked, "What kind of fun?" Zhang Shuo said, "No hair on his mouth, like a dog hole; squawking like a bird feeding its young; and his backside's getting higher, like a crane bowing to peck."
Guo, the secretary, wasn't happy about this, so he said, "I want to ask Zhang Shuo another riddle. If he can't guess it, he should also be punished." So he casually said a riddle based on similar-sounding words: “‘Ling Hu Ju’, ‘Lao Bai Tu’, ‘Yi You Ya’, ‘Yi Hong Ya’ – what do they mean?” Zhang Shuo replied, "'Ling' means command; 'Hu' is a vessel for holding things; 'Ju' means uneven teeth; 'Lao' means venerable; 'Bai' is the courtyard of ghosts; 'Tu' means a muddy track; 'Yi You Ya' means the words haven’t been fully spoken; 'Yi Hong Ya' means two dogs scrapping." For every riddle Guo Shuren asked, Zhang Shuo could immediately answer. He was quick-witted and smooth-talking; no one could stump him, and everyone was amazed. The Emperor promoted Zhang Shuo to a high-ranking position, and from then on he was very favored.
A long time passed, and during the dog days of summer, the emperor rewarded the officials with meat. The other high-ranking officials usually stayed late, but Zhang Shuo, alone, took out his sword and cut a piece of meat, then said to his colleagues, "It's a hot day; we should go home early. I'm taking my reward now." Then he walked away with the meat. The senior officials reported this to the emperor. Zhang Shuo was summoned to the palace, and the emperor asked him, "Yesterday, you took the meat without waiting for permission, and even used a sword to cut it before leaving. What's the story here?" Zhang Shuo quickly took off his hat and apologized. The emperor said, "Get up and speak for yourself."
Zhang Shuo knelt down again and said, "I was wrong! I was wrong! It was very disrespectful to take the reward without waiting for permission! Using a sword to cut the meat was also very rude! I only took a little, so it's not like I was being greedy! I was just taking it home to the wife and kids." The emperor roared with laughter, saying, "I asked you for your shortcomings, and you gave me a self-congratulatory speech!" Then he rewarded Zhang Shuo with a stone of wine and a hundred catties of meat to take home to his wife and children.
So, in the third year of Emperor Han Wu's reign, he began to go incognito, heading north to Chiyang, west to Huangshan, hunting in Changyang in the south, and playing in Yichun in the east. Every time he went undercover, he always had a drink on hand. By the eighth or ninth month, Emperor Wu had arranged for his crew—attendants, eunuchs, cavalry, and skilled archers selected from Longxi and Beidi—to gather at the palace gate, and that's where the name "Qimen" comes from.
He didn't slip out until after ten at night, calling himself the Marquis of Pingyang. The next morning, he'd hit the mountains for a hunt, chasing deer, pigs, foxes, rabbits, and even fighting with bears, galloping through farmers' fields. The locals went ballistic, cursing him and forming angry mobs, blaming the Hudu county magistrate. When the magistrate heard about this, he blew a gasket and wanted to meet the "Marquis of Pingyang" in the palace, but Emperor Wu's cavalry were about to give him a whipping. The magistrate, furious, sent his men to intervene until a few of his guys finally stood down, and then Emperor Wu revealed his identity. Finally, the magistrate was let go.
Emperor Wu was always out and about at night, always packing five days' worth of grub. When he returned to the palace, he told the officials of Changxin Palace, which made the Emperor tickled pink. From then on, the folks down by South Mountain knew the Emperor was a regular visitor, but because he had to keep the Empress Dowager happy, he didn't dare to go too far. When the Prime Minister and the Imperial Censor found out about this, they had the Right Assistant Commandant patrol the area east of Changyang, and had the Right Interior Minister get the locals to wait at certain spots. Later, he secretly built twelve spots south of Xuanqu where he could change and rest, so he could easily change and rest on his trips. He was especially fond of Changyang, Wuzuo, Beiyang, and Xuanqu.
Later, the emperor felt that the journey was too far and too hard, which also caused suffering to the common people. Therefore, he instructed Wuqiu Shouwang, the Grand Physician, and two court officials skilled in mathematics to measure the land area south of Acheng, east of Zhouzhi, and west of Yichun, calculate the value of the land, and set aside this land to create Shanglin Park, extending it into the Nanshan Mountains. He also ordered the Commandant and his inner circle to assess the uncultivated land of each county to compensate the common people of Hudu County. Wuqiu Shouwang reported this matter to the emperor, who was very pleased and praised him repeatedly. At this time, Shuo stood by and spoke up:
"I've heard it said that humility brings blessings, while arrogance invites disaster. Your Majesty is exhausting your officials, worried the hunting grounds aren't big enough. If things stay the same, the land of the Three Adjuncts (the three administrative regions surrounding the capital) can all be turned into parks. Why bother with Zhouzhi, Hu, and Du? Too much luxury will bring trouble. Even a small Shanglin Park is enough for me."
Now, about Nanshan—it is the most vital strategic location. To the south are the Yangtze and Huai Rivers, and to the north the Yellow and Wei. Stretching from east of Qianshui and Longshan to west of Shangqiu and Luoyi, this land is fertile and rich. During the prosperous Han Dynasty, they abandoned the Three Rivers region and only controlled the land west of Balin and Chang'an, building the capital city south of the Jing and Wei Rivers. This is the richest place in the world, and the reason why the Qin Dynasty was able to conquer the Western tribes and annex Shandong was all thanks to this prime real estate! This mountain yields jade, gold, silver, copper, and a wealth of exotic woods like Yuzhang, sandalwood, and zhe, which are all materials used by craftsmen and support the livelihoods of the common people. Here, there is also an abundance of rice, pears, chestnuts, mulberry, hemp, bamboo arrows, and the land is suitable for planting ginger and taro. The rivers are full of fish, shrimp, and frogs, so even the poor can eat and dress warmly without worrying about hunger or cold. Therefore, the area around Fenggao is known for its incredibly fertile soil, and the value of one acre of land is worth its weight in gold. Now, it has been transformed into an imperial hunting park, destroying the benefits brought by the ponds and waterways, and occupying the fertile land of the people. The treasury's empty. Farmers are losing their land. Corruption's rampant. Food production's plummeting. This is unacceptable!
Furthermore, this hunting ground is full of thickets and forests, where deer are raised, foxes and rabbits run rampant, and tigers and wolves roam. Graves are being destroyed, and people's houses are being demolished, causing children to cry for home and the elderly to shed tears. This is also hard to accept! In order to build this park, trenches are dug, high walls are built, horse riders run everywhere, and carriages travel all around. With deep ditches and canals, one day's reckless revelry could easily cause an accident. This is unacceptable! Therefore, focusing only on expanding the hunting ground and neglecting agriculture is no way to run a country!
Consider this: the Shang Dynasty built the Nine Market Palaces, resulting in the rebellion of the lords; King Ling built the Zhanghua Terrace, causing the people of Chu to scatter to the winds; Qin Shi Huang built the Afang Palace, leading to chaos in the world. I, this foolish subject, disregarding life and death, risking the danger of rebellion against your will, am as good as dead. But for the sake of the country and the people, I dare to present the "Six Symbols of the Grand Steps" to observe the changes in the heavens. You must consider it seriously!
On that day, I reported on the matter of the "Grand Steps," and the emperor appointed me as a high-ranking official and rewarded me with one hundred pounds of gold. However, the Shanglin Park was still built as requested by Prince Shou.
Many years later, the son of Princess Longluo, Lord Zhaoping, married the Emperor's daughter, Princess Yian. Princess Longluo fell seriously ill and, in advance, paid for Lord Zhaoping's pardon with a thousand pounds of gold and ten million coins, which the emperor agreed to. After Princess Longluo passed away, Lord Zhaoping became more and more arrogant, got drunk, killed his own master, and was imprisoned in the palace dungeon. Because he was the princess's son, the court requested to handle the matter according to the law. Those around him pleaded for mercy, saying, "The princess had already bought off his punishment, and Your Majesty agreed." The emperor said, "My brother is old, and he only has this one son. His death will be entrusted to me." The emperor shed tears and sighed for a long time, saying, "The laws were established by the late emperor. For the sake of my brother, to discredit the late emperor's laws, how can I have the face to worship our ancestors in the ancestral temple! I have once again disappointed the people!" So the emperor approved the officials' petition, grieving uncontrollably, and everyone around him was heartbroken.
Some time later, Minister Shuo presented the emperor with birthday greetings, saying, "I have heard that the wise king governs the country with rewards and punishments meted out fairly, regardless of personal connections. The Classic of Documents says, 'Without bias, the royal road can be unimpeded.' These two points were highly valued during the time of the Five Emperors and were difficult for the sage kings of the three dynasties to achieve. Your Majesty has achieved them, so all the people of the world can live in peace and prosperity, a great fortune for the world! Minister Shuo respectfully presents fine wine, prostrating himself, wishing Your Majesty a long life!" The emperor walked inside the palace. In the evening, the emperor summoned Shuo and said, "There's an old saying: 'Speak only when the time is right, and people will not tire of your words.' Was this a good time to give your birthday wishes?" Shuo took off his hat, bowed, and apologized, saying, "I've heard that too much joy drains your energy, and too much sorrow weakens you. This imbalance affects your spirit, leading to distraction and leaving you vulnerable. The best way to dispel sorrow is to drink wine, so I wish you a long life, to help Your Majesty understand your fairness and selflessness, and to stop your sorrow. I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I spoke out of turn, and I deserve your punishment." Previously, Shuo had once drunkenly entered the palace, urinated in the hall, and was accused of showing disrespect. The emperor had decreed to demote him to a commoner, waiting for the next order from the palace. This time, because of this incident, the emperor reinstated him as a mid-level official and rewarded him with one hundred bolts of silk.
At first, Princess Guantao, also known as Lady Dou, married Chen Wu. After Chen Wu died, the princess found herself a widow. By then, she was getting on in years, and later she set her sights on Dong Yan. Dong Yan and his mother peddled pearls. When Dong Yan was thirteen, he started visiting the princess. The people in the princess's place said that he was a striking young man, so the princess summoned him and said, "I will raise him as my son." She then kept Dong Yan in the mansion. She taught him to read and write, manage finances, ride horses, shoot arrows, and read some historical books. By the time Dong Yan turned eighteen, he had grown up. He would lead the princess's horse when she went out and serve her at home. Dong Yan was gentle and considerate, and because of his relationship with the princess, he had many interactions with important officials. He became quite the celebrity in the city, and everyone called him Master Dong.
The princess then ordered the lavish distribution of wealth to cultivate relationships with scholars, and specifically commanded in the inner palace: "See that Dong Jun gets whatever he wants—a hundred pounds of gold, a million cash, a thousand bolts of silk—within the day. Report back to me afterward." There was a man named An Ling Yuan Shu, who was a nephew of Yuan Ang and had a good relationship with Dong Yan. He said to Dong Yan, "You're in deep trouble, secretly servicing the princess like this. What's your plan?" Dong Yan was very afraid and said, "I have been worrying about this issue for a long time, but I don't know what to do." An Ling Yuan Shu said, "Look, the city temples are miles away, there's no proper palace, and there are those bamboo groves. Why not suggest to the princess that she offer the Changmen Garden? The Emperor's been wanting it! In this way, the Emperor will know that this idea came from you, and you can sleep soundly, and you won't have to sweat it anymore. If you don't get it to him soon, he might ask you about it himself, and that'll be a whole lot worse, right?" Dong Yan quickly kowtowed and said, "I will do as you say." Then he told the princess, who immediately drafted a petition for the Emperor. The Emperor was thrilled and renamed the Dou Da Zhu Garden Changmen Palace. The princess was delighted and gave Dong Yan a hundred pounds of gold to give Yuan Shu as a birthday gift.
The uncle, to arrange a meeting between Dong Jun and the Emperor, had the princess feign illness and skip court. The Emperor came himself to see what she wanted. The princess declined, saying, "I'm so lucky to have Your Majesty's favor, the royal treatment, the title of princess, and all the land and money that comes with it. Your kindness overwhelms me; I could never repay you, not in a million years. If I ever can't even do my chores, I'd rather be dead than fail you. But I do have one small request... I just hope you'll sometimes take a break, relax, and come visit me in my little mountain retreat. I'd love to treat you to some wine and keep you company. Then I'd die happy!"
The emperor said, "Princess, don't worry. I hope you will recover soon. It's just that there are too many courtiers and officials, which might cause you trouble." Not long after the emperor returned to the palace, the princess recovered from her illness and went to pay her respects to the emperor. The emperor rewarded her with a vast sum of money, and they drank together. A few days later, the emperor came to the princess's mountain retreat. The princess personally welcomed him with a rough woven mat and led him to the hall to sit. Before the emperor could sit down properly, he said, "I would like to meet the master of the house,". The princess then left the hall, took off her hairpin and earrings, knelt barefoot and prostrated herself, apologizing, "I'm utterly unworthy; I've utterly failed you. I should be punished. Thank you, Your Majesty, for not punishing me. I apologize." The emperor issued a pardon for her. The princess put on her hairpin and shoes, went to the east wing, and personally introduced Dong Jun. Dong Jun wore a green headscarf and leather boots, following the princess to the front hall and kneeling down on the steps. The princess then introduced, "Yan, the subject of Princess Guantao, begs to see you." Then she bowed deeply in thanks, and the emperor ordered him to rise. The emperor granted Dong Jun official attire. Dong Jun got up and quickly put on the robes and hat. The princess personally served the food and wine. At that time, Dong Jun saw the emperor but did not address him by name, calling him "master of the house" instead. They shared drinks and merriment and were very happy. The princess then requested the emperor to reward generals, marquises, and accompanying officials with money and silk, according to their station. From then on, Dong Jun's power became prominent, known throughout the land. All manner of retainers flocked to Dong’s household. Dong Jun often accompanied the emperor to enjoy races in Pingle, watch cockfighting and cuju, and compete in dog and horse races, and the emperor was very pleased. Later, the emperor held a banquet for Lady Dou in the Xuan Room and had an attendant escort Dong Jun into the palace.
At that time, the official in charge of guarding the palace gate, Shuo, stood in front of the emperor and said, "Dong Yan has committed three serious offenses; how can we let him in?" The emperor asked, "What are the three offenses?" Shuo replied, "Dong Yan, as a subject, had a secret affair with the princess; this is the first offense. He ruined the reputation of both men and women and disrespected royal traditions and marriage customs; this is the second offense."
"Your Majesty, you are in your prime, focusing on studying the 'Six Classics' and handling state affairs, emulating Tang Yao and Yu Shun, learning from the three generations of saintly kings. Yet Dong Yan does not encourage you to study well; instead, he indulges in extravagant pleasures, leading a wicked life. This is a bad influence on the country and the emperor. Dong Yan started this whole mess; this is the third offense. When Bo Ji was burned to death, the nobles were scared. How should you handle this?" The emperor remained silent for a long time before saying, "I originally wanted to hold a banquet, but then changed my mind." Shuo said, "No! The Xuan Palace is where the late emperor handled state affairs; anything shady cannot enter. Once the wind of debauchery grows, it will lead to rebellion. History shows us what happens when rulers get involved in such things – it always ends badly." The emperor said, "You are right."
So the emperor ordered the banquet to be stopped and moved it to the North Palace, allowing Dong Yan to enter from the East Sima Gate, which was renamed the East Jiao Gate. The emperor also rewarded Shuo with thirty pounds of gold. From then on, Dong Yan's favor gradually declined, and he died at the age of thirty. Several years later, Empress Dowager Dou passed away and was buried with Dong Yan in Baling. Starting from Dong Yan, there was more disrespect for tradition among princesses and nobles.
So, back then, the whole country pursued a life of luxury and pleasure, and most common people abandoned farming. The emperor calmly asked Zhang Shizhi, "I want to change the customs of the common people. Do you have any ideas?"
Zhang Shizhi replied, "The deeds of the ancient sage kings such as Yao, Shun, Yu, Tang, Wen, Wu, Cheng, and Kang have passed for thousands of years, and it is still difficult to explain clearly. I dare not speak rashly. I just want to talk about the time when Emperor Xiaowen was in power, a time many elderly people witnessed. Although he was the emperor and had the whole world, he wore coarse clothes, leather shoes, and a sword tied with a belt, and he used a mat made of reeds. His weapons had no sharp edges, his clothes had no patterns, and he even used a cloth bag for presenting memorials as the palace curtain. He adorned himself with morality and took benevolence and righteousness as his principles. As a result, people all over the world followed suit, and the customs naturally changed. Now, Your Majesty, if you feel that the palace is too small and want to build the Zhangtai Palace, with the Phoenix Gate on the left and the Shenming Tower on the right, boasting a myriad of gates; the wood and stone are all decorated with brocade, dogs and horses were draped in fine blankets; palace maids adorned themselves with tortoiseshell and jewels; and the grounds featured racing tracks, jesters, and dancers from Zhengguo. Your Majesty, you live a life of luxury, yet you expect the common people to avoid extravagance and remain on the land. That's a tall order! If Your Majesty can really heed my advice, burn down these extravagant structures and publicly declare no longer flaunting with horses, then you can govern the world as well as in the times of Yao and Shun. The I Ching says: 'When the root is correct, everything else will go smoothly; even a slight deviation will lead to a thousand miles of error.' Think about it, Your Majesty."
Although Zhang Shizhi spoke with a joking tone, he was very observant of the emperor's expression and didn't mince words when offering advice; the emperor often adopted his suggestions. From court ministers to ordinary officials, Zhang Shizhi dared to joke with them, never kissing up.
The emperor liked to chat playfully with Dongfang Shuo, often asking him strange questions. Once, the emperor asked Dongfang Shuo, "So, what do you think of your Emperor?" Dongfang Shuo replied, "From Yao and Shun to Cheng Tang, King Cheng of Zhou, and King Kang of Zhou's prosperous eras, they can't compare to today. I've carefully observed Your Majesty's achievements, which surpass the Five Emperors and even the Three Kings! Moreover, if Your Majesty could gather talented individuals from all over the world, ensuring that everyone in the court treats people fairly, that would be something else entirely. For example, appointing:
- Zhou Gong and Shao Yong as Prime Ministers
- Confucius as Attorney General
- Jiang Taigong as Chief of Staff
- Bi Gong Gao as Secretary of Education
- Bian Yanzi as Guard Commander
- Gao Tao as Minister of Justice
- Hou Ji as Secretary of Agriculture
- Yi Yin as Secretary of the Treasury
- Zigan as Ambassador to Foreign Countries
- Yan Hui and Min Ziqian as Professors
- Zixia as Minister of Rites
- Yi as Secretary of Public Works
- Ji Lu as Chief Commandant
- Qi as Minister of State Ceremonials
- Long Feng as Chief of the Ancestral Temple
- Bo Yi as Prefect of Jingzhao
- Guan Zhong as Prefect of Fengyi
- Lu Ban as Director of Works
- Zhong Shanfu as Grand Master of Ceremonies
- Shen Bo as Grand Steward
- Yan Ling Jizi as Commander of Waterways
- Baili Xi as Governor of a Subordinate State
- Liu Xiaohui as Grand Chamberlain
- Shi Yu as Chief Justice
- Qu Boyu as Grand Tutor
- Kong Fu as Chancellor
- Sun Shu'ao as Prime Minister of a Marquis
- Zi Chan as Prefect
- Wang Qingji as Gatekeeper of Qimen
- Xia Yu as Secretary of Works
- Yi as General of the Vanguard
- Song Wan as Marquis of Shidao."
The emperor cracked up upon hearing this.
At that time, the court was full of talented individuals, and the Emperor asked Dongfang Shuo, "Now, figures like Prime Minister Gongsun Hong, Er Kuan, Dong Zhongshu, Xiahou Shichang, Sima Xiangru, Wuqiu Shouwang, Zhufu Yan, Zhu Maichen, Yan Zhu, Jiao Cang, Zhong Jun, Yan An, Xu Le, and Sima Qian, all of them are talented, knowledgeable, and eloquent. How do you think you compare to them?" Dongfang Shuo replied, "I observe them; each one is like a big elephant, tall and strong, speaking while flailing their arms and legs, shaking their heads and walking clumsily, moving with ponderous slowness. Although I, Dongfang Shuo, am not considered a talent, I am at least a bit better than them!" When Dongfang Shuo spoke to the Emperor, it was always in his characteristically cheeky manner.
Emperor Wu of Han was busy recruiting talents, eager to employ a whole team of skilled officials at once. At that time, there were wars to be fought externally with the Xiongnu and Yue tribes and reforms to be made internally, with many national affairs to handle. From Gongsun Hong to Sima Qian, many were sent to various places to handle affairs; some became local governors and high-ranking ministers, and even reached high positions. As for Dongfang Shuo, he only reached the position of high-ranking court official and later served as a court official, accompanying the Emperor along with Mei Gao and Guo Shen, engaging in light conversation and banter.
After a long time, Dongfang Shuo wrote a petition discussing agriculture, war, and strategies for strengthening the country, while also complaining about not being valued and wanting a chance to prove himself. His petition was full of the philosophies of Shang Yang and Han Fei, a lengthy and audacious piece, laced with his characteristic wit, but in the end, it was of no use. Later, Dongfang Shuo wrote an article pretending to be criticized by someone, and then he rebutted himself, using this to comfort himself, saying that my humble position was not a big deal. The article was written like this:
"Someone asked me about Dong Fang Shuo's words: 'Su Qin and Zhang Yi, both of them could have been teachers to emperors, and in the end, they both became prime ministers, with their names lasting through the ages. And you, Mr. Dong Fang, you study the governance of the ancient kings, the moral standards of the sages, and you delve into the Book of Songs, the Book of Documents, and countless other texts—so many that they can't be counted. You've dedicated your life to learning, wearing yourself to the bone, yet you persist! You must feel that your intelligence is unmatched across the country, truly knowledgeable and talented! However, despite your hard work for the emperor for so long, you're still just a minor official. Why is that? Even your friends can't help you. Why?'
Ah, Mr. Dong Fang sighed deeply, looked up, and replied, 'This is something you can't fully grasp. That was one era; now is another—how can they be the same? During Su Qin and Zhang Yi's time, the Zhou Dynasty had already declined. The feudal lords were at each other's throats, fighting fiercely for power and profit, using force to attack one another. The world was split into twelve states; the strong got the talent, while the weak were left to perish. That's why the art of persuasion thrived. In those days, those in high positions had homes filled with treasures and granaries stocked outside, and their wealth and power would last for generations, allowing their descendants to enjoy riches and glory for years to come.'"
Things are different now. The Emperor's got the whole country under his thumb, and the world is peaceful and stable. The vassals are submissive to the court, and even overseas territories have submitted. The world is as solid as a rock, making it easy for the court to do as it pleases. So what if some are clever and some aren't? If you just go with the flow, everything works out. Appease them, and there's peace; drive them, and there's trouble; honor them, and they become generals; belittle them, and they become captives; promote them, and they soar; suppress them, and they sink; use them like tigers, ignore them like mice. Even if you're loyal, you can't know what'll happen! The world is so big, and there are so many people; countless folks are rushing to persuade them. Even if you try to recruit them, many will struggle with their basic needs, even losing their homes. Even guys like Su Qin and Zhang Yi wouldn't stand a chance of getting a decent job, let alone a top position! So, times are different, things are different!
Ah, can we not strive to improve ourselves? The Book of Songs says, "What you are is what you project." "The crane cries in the Nine Marshes, its voice reaching the heavens." As long as we can improve ourselves, what worries can't be turned into glory and wealth? Jiang Taigong, he was a righteous dude, and even though he didn't get started until he was seventy-two, he ended up ruling Qi for generations! That's why those with aspirations work diligently day and night, striving actively, and dare not slack off, always working hard, like a busy bee!
Ancient texts say: "The heavens will not stop winter because people are afraid of the cold, the earth will not reduce its vastness because people find it dangerous, and a gentleman (or junzi) will not change his behavior because of the arrogance of petty people." "The heavens have their principles, the earth has its form, and a gentleman has his conduct; a gentleman follows the principles, while petty people only care about personal gain." In the Book of Songs it says: "As long as one is doing the right thing, there is no need to worry about others' criticisms." Therefore, it is said: "Still waters run deep; you can't be too picky about friends." In ancient times, emperors wore crowns with a beaded curtain in front to block their vision; they plugged their ears to reduce the sounds they heard. Wise people choose not to see certain things, intelligent people choose not to hear certain things; they value the bigger picture and let small things slide; they don't expect perfection from others.
To guide people to goodness, let them discover the reason themselves; to make people excellent, let them strive for it themselves; to make people achieve, let them explore for themselves. Only then will they be diligent and open-minded. Ultimately, self-cultivation and understanding are the keys to a virtuous life.
Now those scholar-recluses, aloof and proud, living alone, admire Xu You, emulate Jie Yu, strategize like Fan Li, and are loyal like Wu Zixu. The world is peaceful, supported by righteousness, with few wives and even fewer friends; this is their nature. Why do you doubt me? Just as the Yan State valued Yue Yi, the Qin State employed Li Si, and Li Si persuaded the Qi State, their words flow effortlessly, and they can get whatever they desire. Their achievements are as towering as mountains, pacifying the world and stabilizing the country; they encountered a good opportunity. Why are you surprised? As the saying goes, "It's like trying to use a teaspoon to empty the ocean," how can you understand the logic, verify the text, and make a sound? From this perspective, it is like a mouse attacking a dog or a pig biting a tiger; the result is definitely annihilation. Where is the credit? Now you use worldly eyes to deny reclusive scholars; even if you want to help them out of difficulties, you cannot do it, which just shows that they do not understand adaptability and will eventually deviate from the right path.
Next, suppose it is not the words you said, but a different statement: There is a Master Feiyou who serves as an official in the state of Wu. For three years, he has not put forward any good suggestions to help the king of Wu govern the country, nor has he promoted the king's achievements outside, not saying a word. The King of Wu found it strange and asked him, "I have inherited the legacy of my ancestors and entrusted the heavy responsibility of governing the country to talents like you. I wake up early and go to bed late every day, never daring to slack off. I am very happy that you have come from afar to assist me in Wu State. I've been so worried I haven't been able to eat or sleep, and I've avoided all the usual entertainment. I am wholeheartedly eager to hear everyone's opinions, and it has been three years. Now you neither offer advice nor promote my merits; I really don't understand what you mean. Are you hiding your talent? That's disloyal. Or is it just that I'm not recognizing your abilities?"
Feiyou quickly nodded in agreement. King Wu said, "Then we can talk now; I will listen attentively." Feiyou replied, "Oh, but is this really possible? It's easier said than done! Some words may look bad, sound awful, and feel bad, but they can be beneficial; while other words may seem pleasant, sound soothing, and feel good, they can lead to bad consequences when acted upon. If it were not for a wise ruler, who else could accept these words?" King Wu asked, "What's going on? Didn't the ancients say 'those of average intelligence and above can discuss profound matters'? Please go ahead and speak; I'm listening carefully."
He said, "In the past, Guan Longfeng kept nagging Jie to change his ways, and Bi Gan bluntly advised King Zhou. These two ministers were fiercely loyal and deeply concerned about the country and its people. They saw that the emperor's favours didn't reach the people, and the hearts of the people were in turmoil, so they called out the king's mistakes and urged him to change his ways. They only wanted what was best for the king and the kingdom. But now, it's different. Instead of taking advice as slander against the monarch, it is seen as behavior that does not adhere to the etiquette of a minister. But look what happened: loyal officials were executed, their families ruined, and they became a national joke. That's why it's so difficult! Therefore, those upright ministers are falling one by one, while the yes-men are rising in ranks and gaining wealth. Take Fei Lian and E Lai Ge, for example; they are smooth-talking hypocrites who climbed the ranks, secretly indulging the king's every whim just to stay in his good graces. They only cared about survival and pleasing the king. And what's the outcome? They eventually came to a bad end, dying, the ancestral temple abandoned, the country declining, the virtuous being killed, while the cunning flatterers are promoted. Like the old saying goes, 'A little bit of gossip can bring down a whole kingdom!' That's exactly the situation! So, those who are servile, flattering, and smiling will ultimately be of no benefit to the king's governance. Real men don't act like that."
If one were to get all serious and preachy, lay it all out there, and could straighten out the king and save the people from trouble, it would certainly anger the moronic king and break the law of this decadent era. Therefore, anyone who wants to stay alive dares not come forward to advise. So they can only hide out in the mountains, build mud huts with thatched roofs, play the zither in the mountains, and recite the virtues of the ancient kings to find peace and forget their worries. Like Boyi and Shuqi, two legendary figures who starved to death at the foot of Shouyang Mountain to avoid the tyranny of the Zhou Dynasty, and future generations praised their benevolence and righteousness. Having a useless king is terrifying; it's a nightmare! At that time, the King of Wu went white as a sheet, dumped everything, sat bolt upright, and hung on the teacher's every word.
The gentleman said: "Jie Yu secluded himself to avoid the world, while Ji Zi feigned madness to protect himself from the corrupt world. Both of these individuals were trying to preserve themselves. If they could encounter a wise king and a virtuous ruler, and receive a peaceful and supportive environment, they could fully display their talents, chart a course for the nation, analyze the pros and cons, and ensure the stability of the realm and the people's well-being. This way, the governance of the Five Emperors and Three Sovereigns could be achieved. Therefore, Yi Yin endured humiliation, carried cauldrons and cooked, and prepared exquisite meals to serve King Tang; Jiang Taigong fished by the Wei River and was eventually discovered by King Wen. When ruler and subject are of one mind, there is nothing that cannot be achieved in planning, and no strategy that cannot be adopted. That's what it means to have a wise ruler. One must think deeply and far-sightedly. Rectify oneself with morality, influence the people with kindness and virtue, uphold benevolence and righteousness as the foundation, reward meritorious officials, appoint talented individuals, eliminate those who commit evil and disrupt governance, unify the world, unite various ethnicities, and refine social customs. This is the foundation of the prosperity of emperors and kings. If the ruler does not change his nature and the people do not violate human relations, then everything will be in balance, and distant lands will seek their guidance, hence being called a sage king. This is the duty of ministers! Therefore, their legacy of land grants, titles, and lasting influence is still praised by the people to this day, all because they encountered King Tang and King Wen. Jiang Taigong and Yi Yin were like this, but Long Feng and Bi Gan were not, which is truly regrettable! See? It's not so easy!"
King Wu was gobsmacked. He lowered his head and pondered for a while, then raised it, tears welling up and streaming down his face, saying, "Ah! It is not easy for my country to have lasted until now. The future looks pretty bleak!" So, he overhauled the court, arranged the positions of the monarch and ministers, promoted talented individuals, treated his people kindly, ruled with compassion and fairness, and rewarded those who had merit; he lived a simple life, cut back on harem expenses, and reduced the costs of carriages and horses; he banned obscene music, distanced himself from corrupt officials, cut down on kitchen expenses, and eliminated extravagance; he downgraded the palace, demolished gardens, filled in ditches, and distributed these lands to the propertyless poor; he opened the national treasury, aided the impoverished, supported the elderly, and cared for widows and orphans; he reduced taxes and punishments.
After doing this for three years, the whole country was peaceful, the world was stable and harmonious, yin and yang were balanced, and everything grew well; there were no disasters in the country, the people did not suffer from hunger or cold, every household lived in abundance, food reserves were sufficient, and the prisons were empty; phoenixes flew to roost, qilins appeared in the outskirts, sweet dew fell, and vermilion grass sprouted; people from far and wide, even those from different cultures, came to pay their respects. Governing a country well is actually pretty simple. But those in power refuse to do it. What a shame! Therefore, as stated in the Book of Songs: "The prosperity of a kingdom is due to the pillars of the Zhou Dynasty, the many talented individuals who allowed King Wen to stabilize the world." This is the truth.
These two are among Mr. Shaofang's best articles. Others include "Granting Mount Tai," "The Blame of He Shi Bi," "The Birth of the Crown Prince," "Screen," "Cypress Pillar in the Hall," and "Hunting in Ping Le Pavilion," as well as "Borrowing a Chariot from Gongsun Hong." These are all works of Mr. Shaofang recorded by Liu Xiang. The rest aren't his.
So, some people praised Liu Xiang, saying that when he was young, he often sought advice from those respected elders and knowledgeable individuals about Chunyu Kun. These people all said that Chunyu Kun was very eloquent and good at talking, but his reasoning wasn't very strong. He liked to tell off-the-wall stories to ordinary people, and that's why so many stories about him exist. Yang Xiong also thought Chunyu Kun was a bit flaky and not exactly a stand-up guy. He didn't leave much of a legacy.
However, Chunyu Kun's reputation far exceeded his actual achievements because he was witty and humorous, talented in many areas, and could do anything. He was a smooth talker, a sharp thinker, could play the upright official, and then disappear like a hermit. Unlike those high-minded types like Boyi and Suqi, he was more like Liu Xia Hui. He taught his son, "Those Shouyang Mountain hermits are idiots; those guys hanging around the court are the smart ones. Eat your fill, keep your head down, and being an official beats farming any day. Kiss up to the powerful, play it cool, and show up when things are good, disappear when they're not." Man, Chunyu Kun was a riot!
His wit and humor came in handy – he was good at everything from fortune-telling to archery contests. But honestly, most of what he did was pretty shallow, mostly schmoozing with the common folk. Even the kids and shepherds were his fans. Later, people just piled on, adding all sorts of wild stories, so the accounts got really embellished.
